Behind closed doors, what seems like an ordinary life can be anything but – and often for all the wrong reasons. In this raw life story, author Pauline Howell shares her own journey through darkness to demonstrate what it means to fall into despair and ultimately discover the light of hope and freedom.

Raised in South Africa, Pauline’s childhood was disrupted when her mother remarried a violent, alcoholic man. A knife wound in his back marked the beginning of a series of horrific events she would witness. Her own experience with a succession of abusive husbands led to decades of mental anguish, spiralling into bulimia and depression. It felt as though evil had her in its grip.

This is a gritty story of suicide, family loss, tragedy, illness, and pain. Yet, for Pauline, it was simply life. Despite the brokenness and despair, God was at work in her life, leading her towards healing. A job opportunity in the United Kingdom took her to a foreign land where she knew no one – except the God who loved her.

Pauline Howell’s testimony offers profound hope to those whose lives have become unbearable, who feel isolated on the margins of society. You are not alone. This is her story of recovery, through the healing hands of Jesus, her Saviour.